Practicing non-violent communication

 In the spirit of shared values, the ethic of care for others, the relief of suffering, and the reduction of conflict, we may wish begin by creating a climate of non violent communication, and a language of peace.  This involves encouraging and using language that respects the following.


1)    Be responsible for your feelings, words and actions. Do not assume that others feel the same way.

2)     Do not attribute the feelings, words and actions of one to others.

3)    Make no demands, threats or blame.  Do not insist or force others to feel, think or act the way you want. 

4)    Do not judge either yourself or others.

5)    Stay in the present and empathize with yourself and others. We are all connected by feelings and needs.


  1.  Observe:   State facts simply and without judgment.  (ie, This is what has happened…)
  2. Feelings:   State your own feelings without blame or as caused by others. (ie, I feel very concerned. etc)
  3. Needs:   State your own need respectfully.  (ie, I need to be compassionate about this, to do or say something)
  4. Request:   Make a suggestion or a request.  (ie, Are you able to help or do something about this?)

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